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Thread: I never have quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women

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    I never have quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women

    I never have quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
    differ so much. I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

    I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
    their heart.

    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
    Well, the passion starts to heat up, but she eventually says, "I don't
    feel like it. I just want you to hold me."

    I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!?"

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
    me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
    for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend more time
    with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
    big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
    on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
    one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes
    to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Let's get a pair for each outfit."

    We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
    diamond earrings. Let me tell you - she was so excited. She must have
    thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
    testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
    know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
    was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

    Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is
    all dear. Let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
    feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,

    "WHAT?"

    I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

    You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for

    me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
    added,

    "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
    you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either - but at least that *****
    knows I'm smarter than her.



    Later...
    Bruce

  2. #2
    Registered User
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    Very funny!
    Sean E.
    '02 DSG HD ( Gone but will always have a special place in my heart...)

  3. #3
    "Fuzion" 1986-2007 R.I.P.
    Name: Troy

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    Lol!!

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    2tone03harley's Avatar
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    now thats funny!!!!

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    I believe I heard that on Blue Collar Comedy Tour! But still funny as hell!

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    Nicks2000hdt's Avatar
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    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHHAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    i dont care where its from that is the funniest wittiest thing i have herd in a while!!!!!

    -Nick

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