Banned from Wal-Mart
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husbandaccompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton waslike most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and getout. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse.
One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her localWal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite acommotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may beforced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillancecameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people'scarts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minuteintervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to thewomen's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,"Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's onlayaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told othershoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blanketsfrom the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he begancrying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as amirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he askedthe clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudlyhumming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look"by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, heassumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least ..
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,and then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards,Walmart
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Originally Posted by SUX2BU
