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Thread: Something To Offend Everyone

  1. #1
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    Something To Offend Everyone

    What is a Yankee?
    The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
    What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
    The position of the dirt bag.

    Why is divorce so expensive?
    Because it's worth it.

    What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
    One US leader.


    What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

    Doughnuts.


    Why is air a lot like sex?
    Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.


    Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely?
    Because Janet Reno is her real father.


    What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room
    together?
    100 people who don't do ****..



    What do you call a smart blonde?
    A golden retriever.


    What do attorneys use for birth control?
    Their personalities.


    What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
    45 lbs.


    What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
    45 minutes.

    What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.



    A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade.
    Who has the biggest boobs?
    The blonde, because she's 18.

    What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
    A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.



    What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
    "Are you sure it's mine?"



    What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
    Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

    Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
    Mace will do that to you

    Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    Breasts don't have eyes.
    Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
    He walks around saying "Yo."


    Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
    Mondays, Wednesdays and! Fridays?
    Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

    What's the Cuban National Anthem?
    "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"

    Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
    A different bar

    What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
    A speech impediment.


    What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
    They're hiring.

    What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
    A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
    along with... "a recipe."
    How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

    What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairy tale?
    A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."
    A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****..."
    Why is there no Disneyland in China?
    No one's tall enough to go on the good rides


    Later...
    Bruce

  2. #2
    Who Dat is
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    huot5's Avatar
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    good ones there. gotta spread the words at work

  3. #3
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    nighttrainwayne's Avatar
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    Thats some good stuff, lmao.

  4. #4
    #8658, 6/3/02
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    I just had to explain to my professor why I laughed during his lecture, the class enjoyed them too.

  5. #5
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    Enjoy!

    Later...
    Bruce

  6. #6
    MotorCity T-Sport
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    03_HD_F150SC's Avatar
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    Wrong thread

    Ooops. Ment to post as a new topic.
    Last edited by 03_HD_F150SC; 01-12-2008 at 04:44 PM.

  7. #7
    "Shadow the Hedgehog"
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    Hoffmann's Avatar
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    Still funny...

    misprint bellow




    Quote Originally Posted by Black 2003 View Post
    What does it mean when the flag at the Police Office is flying at half-mast?
    They're hiring.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hoffmann View Post
    Still funny...

    misprint bellow
    Ouch! LOL

    Not a misprint, funny either way.


    Later...
    Bruce

  9. #9
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    44zoomer's Avatar
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    hahahahaha.............good ones

  10. #10
    Clean and SLOW!
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    ahahahaha good stuff

  11. #11
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    funny and very true..lol

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