Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Airplance Maintenance Crew Humor...

  1. #1
    Registered User
    Name:

    2TonHog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    954
    Like
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Airplance Maintenance Crew Humor...

    I read this on Snopes, thought it was funny.
    Pilots lodged complaints, and the maintenance crews provided the answers.

    Problem: Left inside tire almost needs replacement.
    Answer: Almost replaced inside left tire.

    Problem: Test flight okay, except autoland very rough.
    Answer: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

    Problem: #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid.
    Answer: #2 Propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3, and 4 lack normal seepage.

    Problem: Something loose in ****pit.
    Answer: Something tightened in ****pit.

    Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
    Answer: Live bugs on backorder.

    Problem: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
    Answer: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    Problem: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    Answer: Evidence removed.

    Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    Answer: Volume set to more believable level.

    Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    Answer: That's what they are there for!

    Problem: IFF inoperative.
    Answer: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    Problem: Suspected crack in windscreen.
    Answer: Suspect you're right.

    Problem: Number 3 engine missing.
    Answer: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    Problem: Aircraft handles funny.
    Answer: Aircraft warned to "Straighten up, fly right and be serious."

    Problem: Target radar hums.
    Answer: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

    Problem: Mouse in ****pit.
    Answer: Cat installed.

    Problem: The autopilot doesn't.
    Answer: IT DOES NOW.

    Problem: Seat cushion in 13F smells rotten.
    Answer: Fresh seat cushion on order.

    Problem: Turn & Slip indicator ball stuck in center during turns.
    Answer: Congratulations. You just made your first coordinated turn!

    Problem: Whining sound heard on engine shutdown.
    Answer: Pilot removed from aircraft.

    Problem: Pilot's clock inoperative.
    Answer: Wound clock.

    Problem: Autopilot tends to drop a wing when fuel imbalance reaches 500 pounds.
    Answer: Flight manual limits maximum fuel imbalance to 300 pounds.

    Problem: #2 ADF needle runs wild.
    Answer: Caught and tamed #2 ADF needle.

    Problem: Unfamiliar noise coming from #2 engine.
    Answer: Engine run for 4 hours. Noise now familiar.

    Problem: Noise coming from #2 engine. Sounds like man with little hammer.
    Answer: Took little hammer away from man in #2 engine.

    Problem: Whining noise coming from #2 engine compartment.
    Answer: Returned little hammer to man in #2 engine.

    Problem: Flight attendant cold at altitude.
    Answer: Ground checks OK.

    Problem: 3 Roaches in cabin.
    Answer: 1 Roach killed, 1 wounded, 1 got away.

    Problem: Weather radar went ape!
    Answer: Opened radar, let out ape, cleaned up mess.

  2. #2
    Rumblin Bumblin Stumblin
    Name:

    jmarvolous's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Asheville, NC
    Posts
    1,612
    Like
    0
    Liked 5 Times in 3 Posts
    some of those are hilarious!

  3. #3
    "Fuzion" 1986-2007 R.I.P.
    Name: Troy

    1niceharley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Haslet, Texas
    Posts
    3,917
    Like
    2
    Liked 4 Times in 2 Posts
    Yea I heard some of those before, For real! Some pilots are idots. I use "Unit doesn't work in the OFF mode." a lot on the dumb ones.

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Name:

    fordfan1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    1,508
    Like
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    lmfao...

  5. #5
    Slowest 03 HD n the WORLD
    Name:

    DallasGT01's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    FRISCO, TEXAS!!!
    Posts
    2,892
    Like
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    there are some funny ones and some that are like hmm...

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •